28 June, 2011
27 June, 2011
Cheques and Refinances
In Defense of a Mindless Government, I couldn't have said it better myself. Bravo.
Having defended my own Mindless legalese red tape bullshit, I'm laughing about the prospect of a federal bill which would require HR departments nationwide to disclose the wage disparity between executives and "average workers." Obviously, this won't pass... but In Defense of Mindless Governing, at fifty dollars per month, an active internet connection is about the best way to keep people indoors and afraid (see #9, here).
Everything is under control, don't you worry... gotta pay the bills, somehow! Goddamn, write your senators NOW, California!
Having defended my own Mindless legalese red tape bullshit, I'm laughing about the prospect of a federal bill which would require HR departments nationwide to disclose the wage disparity between executives and "average workers." Obviously, this won't pass... but In Defense of Mindless Governing, at fifty dollars per month, an active internet connection is about the best way to keep people indoors and afraid (see #9, here).
Everything is under control, don't you worry... gotta pay the bills, somehow! Goddamn, write your senators NOW, California!
Dear assemblyperson:
As a constituent and CONCERNED CITIZEN, I am ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED that you would even consider endangering human lives through trickery in some vain attempt at cash-flow. Our country is fucked. Red light cameras are immoral cashcows. Gold is soon to break $1,600, PER FUCKING OUNCE. In case you're wondering, this is temporarily good for those who cash out early, but it's probably time to start looking for a currency that is other-than- and not-pegged-to the dollar. Just some financial advice from a guy that never understood the legality of high school economics.
Red Light Sneak
24 June, 2011
13 June, 2011
11 June, 2011
A Roast to Rankings
Comic: So [group of attractive] audience ladies, where are ya'll coming from this evening all dressed up?
Jailbait: Our school dance just got out!
Comic: Oh jesus, what grade are ya'll in?
Jailbait: ... eighth?
Comic: What does that make ya'll, thirteen years old!?
Mother: Some of them are fourteen!
Comic: Mother of the Year award, right here, ladies and gentlemen!
Alexa just informed me that I have several Top 10 SEO search terms, meaning Google terms such as "macbook hd", "bikini bridge", "jailbait", and "13 pussy" end up finding themselves directing surfers toward TTMMG:WTF, quite often; go ahead and query some of those, the FBI and I'll wait... The next big thing? "Teabaggıng".
A great performance from ALL performers, perfectly-recovered stutters, and all! Thanks Mollica, for MCing... a wonderful host! AND TO PADDY!
Another Comic:I just got fired from my last DJ gig for playing "Sexual Healing" [I know I'm wrong about the song, here]... at a bat-mitzfa (oh, they went there on the Jew bashing). It really wasn't so bad, they mostly were step-fathers. [Actually, I know the entire delivery has been mutilated on this last one, but it hits all the key points].
Best boomerang delivery:
So, I had this girlfriend who had cancer - the doctor had only given her four months to live... best part is, NO CONDOMS!
...
This was about a year later, so she and I weren't together anymore.
Zoneil wasn't there tonight, so the only journalist was the local high school paper, represented by a 16 year old youngin who offered this wonderful real-world advice to his now-becoming-high-school freshwomen:
Learn to procrastinate, now.
BRILLIANT, all hands up!
10 June, 2011
Welcome to America
Thanks, Justin, for a most-appropriate picture.
If you look into what people are worried about right now they’re worried about losing their jobs not being able to put food on the table the next month. They see that if they lose their jobs it’s not as easy as it used to be to find another one as well. That’s terrible because it’s very cold when you look at it in numbers but it’s—I’m telling you—it’s so much different when it happens on a social level and you see that on the street . When you see the people picking up garbage on the streets to eat."
Chris Martenson, 10 June 2011, on the collapse of Argentina.
Walking down Octavia this past March, on a quest to have my towed vehicle returned, I realized how fortunate my own financial situation has become: a vagrant, strolling along the boulevard, leant over, picked through doggie excrement, and revealed a raisin to his taste buds – sweet sweaty vindication!
I think that five years from now or so you’re going to be talking to people and the thing that’s going to be concerning them is that Joe down the street suffered a home invasion and got beaten up, maybe even got killed. All kinds of crime that didn't used to happen in the good parts of town. It’s going to be one of the greatest concerns people will have eventually.
Having recently moved to a quasi-bad section of the East Bay, I can tell you, this is already happening.
09 June, 2011
There's there, there.
He was content to be alone--he stretched out his arms toward the dark water in a curious way, and as far as I was from him, I could have sworn he was trembling. Involuntarily I glanced seaward--and distinguished nothing except a single green light.
With a tip of the hat to London and Fitzgerald
06 June, 2011
02 June, 2011
Vander-whowhoo?
I wrote my college application essay on confusion between Vanderbuilts and Vanderbilts. Fer170kRizzle.
01 June, 2011
Point Montara
Point Montara, Hosteling Internation, US Federal Land
The problem with the above "Multiple-Lock system for shared access using several padlocks" being that if you can pick any one of the locks, the entire security theatre is defeated... be sure to be back in by 11PM
...but still, a neat implementation of an interesting concept.
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